


A Magical Adventure

by TheEarlyKat



Series: Hetalia Parodies [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-21
Updated: 2011-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 07:05:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1053908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEarlyKat/pseuds/TheEarlyKat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Axis trio go on a journey to Candy Mountain</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Magical Adventure

Ludwig was in the living room, reading the newspaper, when he came dashing into the room yelling his name.

"Ludwig, Ludwig!"

The blonde cringed and lifted the paper higher, hoping that if the Italian didn't see his face, he would go back to whatever nonsense he was working on before that Ludwig would just have to clean up later.

"Hey, hey Ludwig! Guess what? Guess what Ludwig!"

To his dismay, the newspaper was pulled down, and the redhead flashed him a bright smile.

"This better be important Feliciano, I'm very busy today. What is it? Is the kitchen on fire?" He checked the hall just to make sure no smoke was coming from the room. It wasn't that the housemate was horrible at cooking – he was actually very great – it was just that he had a habit of making a fairly large mess that he would forget to clean up.

But it wasn't fire that came out of the kitchen: it was Kiku. He entered the living room and held out a piece of paper.

"What is that?" Ludwig asked hesitantly.

"We found it in the backyard", Kiku explained. "Pochi-kun had it in his mouth when I went to get him this morning-"

"It's a map to Candy Mountain!" Feliciano finished in a burst of excitement. He watched Ludwig expectantly.

"Candy Mountain…right…" Ludwig said. "Like I explained before, I really am busy-"

"Come on Ludwig!" Feliciano exclaimed, jumping onto the couch with him and bouncing with a child's enthusiasm.

"It'll be an adventure", Kiku noted.

The Italian lit up. "Yeah, an adventure! Come on! Let's go! Candy Mountain, Candy Mountain, Candy Mounta-"

"ACTUNG!" Feliciano really didn't know when to be quiet, did he? Ludwig had just wanted to get his paperwork done, finish the project for the next world meeting – even if it wasn't for another three months, it was still good to be prepared –

"It's a place of sweets and joyness and happiness and there'll be candy and everyone loves candy and-"

"Fine! I'll go. But only to keep you quiet. Don't say I didn't warn you when we never find this Candy Mountain."

"Yay!" Feliciano said, ignorant of the last of the blonde's words. "This'll be so much fun, right Kiku?"

"Yes, it will prove to be a very interesting expedition, don't you think?"

"We'll find so much candy that we won't be able to carry it all!" the redhead laughed in anticipation.

Ludwig rubbed his temples, already feeling a headache coming on as the two other housemates talked amiably about the new area they were about to explore. He reluctantly placed the neatly folded newspaper on the couch next to him and slowly left the comfortable seat he had hoped to stay in for the morning. If truth be told, Ludwig was only going to the so-called Candy Mountain to keep Feliciano from hurting himself.

The Germany let his gaze rest sadly at the lonely newspaper, before shutting the door to his house, and to the option of stepping out of this ludicrous idea.

_"Piero dice che l'altr'anno è stato sulla luna~ Piero dice c'ha piantato funghi e marijuana~ La penisola italiana è un suo stivale~"_

Ludwig ground his teeth together.

_"Piero è stato assolto dalla corte costituzionale~ Piero con il suo gommone sbarca clandestini~"_

"Feliciano."

_"Piero è stato battezzato insieme a Ceccherini~"_

"Feliciano!"

_"Piero ha pubblicato un libro per la-"_

"Halt!" Ludwig yelled, finally having enough of the song. Maybe, just maybe, he might have tolerated the singing, if only Feliciano hadn't chosen a song that was entirely in Italian, and if he hadn't been singing it since the moment they have left the house.

"But Ludwig…" he started.

"Don't start, Feliciano! I've had enough of the singing!"

"I didn't mind the song, Ludwig", Kiku noted.

Ludwig stared at the smaller man. Of course he didn't mind it; he had been starting to sing along once he learned some of the words. Feliciano had even taught him some the meanings. It wasn't helping his headache any.

"It doesn't matter, Kiku, because the first stop is right here!" said Italian shouted. He ran ahead through an opening in the woods they were strolling through and called after them.

"Yao?" Kiku asked when Ludwig and him had left the trees behind. Italy was standing next to him, waving the map sporadically in his face.

"Ni hao you guys", he greeted. "Feli here has shown me this trip to Candy Mountain you are going on, and that is very funny indeed. If there is such a place, I would have built it! I have not built a place made entirely of candy, although it is a great idea. Maybe I should try to do that!"

"Ah…" Ludwig shot a hopeless look at Kiku.

"Aiyah! I forgot! I found Panda today! He was hiding form me for the past few days." Yao pulled out a black and white bear from a basket strapped from his back. "Say hello, Panda!"

Feliciano patted the panda bear, and it opened its mouth and emitted a rough wail. Feliciano jumped back, hand cradled to his chest in fright. "W-what happened?" he asked nervously.

"Panda must not be feeling good…"

"Feliciano! It's the Leoploridon! From the map", Kiku pointed out. "That's the noise the map said it would make."

"You're right, Kiku! The Leoploridon has spoken! It's shown us the way!"

"Leo…ploridon…?" Ludwig wondered why he was even on this trip.

"Yes, Ludwig" Kiku said. "It is a legend in my country where-"

"Shun the non-believers!" the Italian yelled.

"Yes…well…", Ludwig continued. "The map says we need to cross a bridge…" Anything to get their minds off this…creature thing.

"The bridge! Oh yeah! Come on Ludwig, Kiku!"

"Yes, arigato, Ludwig".

Ludwig groaned.

"See you all later, yes?" Yao called after them, waving.

"Here it is!" Feliciano said, pointing wildly at a rope bridge ahead of them.

"It doesn't look too safe; are you sure this is the only way?" Ludwig asked.

Japan checked the map. "It seems so."

The German looked dis-heartedly into the chasm far below, with only a thin stream of blue winding its way down the mountain to mark the bottom. Only tow thin ropes on either side of the bridge supported it across the large expanse of air.

"Is anyone else getting covered in splinters?" he called out. "The sun is going down; it'll be dark in a few hours. Maybe this can wait until later?"

"Ludwig, this is a bridge of hope and wonder", Kiku told him.

"Ludwig!"

Said man shuddered.

"Hey, Ludwig!"

Please, shut up, Feliciano…

"Hey, hey, Ludwig? We're on a magical bridge!"

Ludwig dashed down the bridge and grabbed the Italian by the color of his shirt, and dragged him along the path that marked the last few miles to Candy Mountain, ignoring all pleas and garbled chokes.

"Here it is", Kiku said at last, and Ludwig tossed Feliciano onto the ground in impatience.

It didn't look like a mountain made of candy. It didn't even look like a mountain. It was just a large pile of boulders stacked on top of it.

"Go inside, Ludwig" Feliciano encouraged, rubbing his throat. "See what's in there." He unfurled a white flag from his pockets just in case.

Ludwig was just about to step inside the cave when something small and gray launched itself at him. He fell on his back into the dirt, with a small, gray, humanoid creature standing on top of him. It let out some kind of squeal, although it had no mouth.

"What the…?" He looked back at Kiku. "One of your 'legends' again?" The Japanese man shook his head.

"Ludwig, is that you?" a familiar, and not welcome voice asked. "Aww, dude, I think he likes you!" Alfred laughed in that annoying way of his and Ludwig scowled. "It's just Tony, chill out. He's my alien friend!"

"Hey, hey, Alfred! Do you know about Candy Mountain?" Feliciano asked suddenly.

"Ah, no, can't say I do, but I bet it's some totally awesome place!" He laughed again, and Ludwig couldn't decide who gave him the largest headache. Feliciano's face fell, and even Kiku's normally passive expression seemed to pull back in a small frown. "But if you're looking for candy, I have some!"

**Author's Note:**

> The song Italy sings is "L'Italia di Piero" by Simone Cristicchi.


End file.
